Living with Bipolar Disorder

What Happened?
Stopping your medications is not recommended. Typically, when a bipolar patient stops taking their medications they slip into a very deep depressive state. I know because I had tried before. The last time I slipped as a result of something triggering the episode. My seventeen year old brother was killed in an automobile accident. I had lost many people in my life. I lost both grandfathers within a week of each other at age 8
I lost my father at age 11. I lost both grandmothers shortly thereafter. I was the picture of a stoic during it all. When I lost my brother, I felt I had lost my world. I fell apart. I questioned God. I wished that I had been taken instead. I wanted to die. I have only recently been able to deal with his death. My psychiatrist tells me that as a result of the age difference that I essentially lost my son. I was 15 years older than him. The psychiatrist also said that this was the trigger of my latest episode and that I would have to get on medication and stay on it for the rest of my life.
I took the new medications for a year and a half. I was better than I had ever been. Life was good.
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