Dinner with Bill Gates

[The time is the late 1990's and the setting is an unidentified city in the northwest United States, in Washington. Three employees of Microsoft, the narrator, Encolpius, and his co-workers Giton and Ascyltus, have been invited to the illustrious mansion of billionaire Bill Gates, for a banquet.]
It was slightly drizzling as we approached the house. We were simply amazed at it's size, it was a good quarter mile in length and equally long in width. As we approached the enormous wooden door, lights flicked on and a computer generated voice greeted us. Not knowing what to do, we waited,…