Spring Break

For spring break a couple of years ago, lots of kids went to Cancun or some other wild place to do crazy, crazy things and to get really drunk. I went to Hawaii, to the tiny island of Lanai with my mom, dad and sister, and lay on the beach for six days. My daily schedule for that week would consist of waking up and ordering room service (paying $5 for a bagel) watching "Regis & Kelly" and eventually making my way to the beach, at which point I would embarrass all the other in shape, ripped men with their families by taking off my shirt. Now for such an upscale resort, I encounter…